Fake Journal
Real Fake News
Thursday, May 02, 2024
Believe Not
Add Your News
LeBron Delivers On Equality As NBA Ratings Now Even With WNBA
Socialist sports fans everywhere are praising LeBron James’ triumphant efforts to finally bring equality in the ratings between the NBA and the WNBA.
Trump Delays US Presidential Election Until Putin Steps Down In 2036
In a ‘not very surprising’ move that the ‘liberal-wet-live-on-your-knees-sandal-shuffling-effete-lefty-pinko-commie’ Democrats (and some academic windbags) believe to be unconstitutional, Donald Trump today announced the postponement of ...
Hillary Clinton Ate the Fly Off Mike Pence's Head - Daily Squib
The fly that landed on Mike Pence's head during the VP debate ended up in Hillary Clinton's stomach, according to witnesses at the venue.
Prince Andrew refuses to share the expenses of silencing Jeffrey Epstein
Prince Andrew has refused to share with Bill Clinton the expenses of silencing Jeffrey Epstein. The Prince accused Clinton of doing an amateur job, by making no effort at all to hide the fact that Epstein did not really commit suicide. T...
The Nobel Prize Committee has filed a lawsuit against Barack Obama
The Nobel Prize Committee has filed a lawsuit against Barack Obama, asking him to return the prize money he received for the peace agreements he failed to deliver during his eight years in office. The Nobel Prize Committee is demanding t...
Beijing is offering to give Hong Kong back to Britain for another 99 years
Chinese president Xi Jinping announced today that Beijing is offering to lease Hong Kong again for another 99 years, to the UK or USA or Australia or Canada. However, all those countries have rejected the offer, as it comes with conditio...
COVID-19, just the same as the iPhone: made in China but designed in California
A newly-leaked document reveals that the COVID-19 was indeed made in China, but was actually designed in California.
Germany is planning to punish the UK by blacklisting their financial services and imposing travel restrictions
Germany has decided to leverage the FinCen-leaked documents by classifying the UK as what it actually is: the main money-laundering jurisdiction in the world. It will also require paid visa entry to and from the UK.
President Trump pardons Julian Assange, Chelsea Manning, and Edward Snowden, recognizing their important contribution to transparency and a fair press
The President noted in his decision that the harm they caused in their criminal acts was far less than the harm they prevented in exposing the grave acts of the previous administration. “The crimes against humanity that Julian Assange an...
Earth protection organizations are claiming that the amount of plastic that Biden has consumed on his face are endangering the planet
Biden has promised to stop using so much plastic right after he wins the election and bequeaths all his duties to his successor, Kamala Harris.
Apple is looking for new iPhone technology to allow Trump to relax the sanctions against HUAWEI
The sanctions that Apple asked Trump to impose against HUAWEI may come to an end, as Apple has finally found - after falling behind for 5 years - some new features for the iPhone that may close the gap with HUAWEI phones.
The Black Community demands that, in return for their support, Kamala Harris pledges not to pardon her protégé, the cop who murdered George Floyd
Kamala Harris was the Attorney General in California, where Derek Chauvin also served. She was the one who had previously erased 12 cases of deadly violence that Derek Chauvin had committed against black people. Thus she effectively pav...
Netanyahu meets with Putin to coordinate a strategy that would once again secure Trump's victory
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu meets with Russian President Vladimir Putin to coordinate a strategy that would once again secure Trump's victory over Biden.
A woman caught claiming to be night nurse at Walter Reed medical center
Best TV News Bloopers Fails
A collection of the best TV news bloopers fails.
Museum of Nothing II: Everything Offensive Removed
With nothing to look at, visitors are absolved of any grief in their lives. By peacefully meditating in the air where offensive art once stood, visitors can more efficiently process their own guilt, and decide whether that guilt should s...
First Trump-Biden presidential debate: what did you see?
MAINSTREAM MEDIA: Biden took a solid second place in the debate, while Trump came next to last.
Xi is not happy with the way that his appointed candidate handled the debate
The President of the People's Republic of China Xi Jinping is very disappointed that his Jo Biden couldn’t defeat Trump during the debate.
Hope Hicks announces that she got pregnant from Donald Trump
The happy news sparked an angry reaction from Kayleigh McEnany‘s husband, who demanded to check if the baby who she claim to be his has any of Trump’s DNA.
Health Update: Trump Back To Doing Push-ups With The Clap In The Middle
“Ok, everyone, you’re about to see what sixty years of an all-red-meat diet and french fries can do for the human body,” he said looking at the camera while shaking both of his arms to loosen them up. “Obama couldn’t even do one of thes...
Biden To Hire ServPro For White House Restoration Work
It is being reported that Joe Biden, if he were to win the presidency, will hire the cleanup firm, ServPro, to cleanse a White House that has been thoroughly soiled by Donald Trump and his administration.
The Clintons allegedly flee country after Maxwell arrest
Various eyewitnesses have reported that Bill and Hillary Clinton have fled the country during the dark morning hours of July 4th, after it became known that Ghislaine Maxwell, Jeffery Epstein's former accomplice, had agreed to "give name...
Anonymous source reports unspecified crime by unnamed person
A newly released bombshell report may guarantee the re-impeachment of Donald Trump, according to many political analysts. The report, contained in a document that originated with a yet unnamed source, states that a whistleblower, who des...
Xi Jinping Congratulates Trump on Contracting Chinese Virus
President Xi Jinping has congratulated Donald Trump on contracting the deadly Chinese Virus. “It was made in China, and sent with love to all Americans, including you Mr. President, we hope you enjoy our Chinese Virus, made especially fo...
Why It's Acceptable to Wish Death On People if You're a Leftist
It's perfectly acceptable for a leftist luvvie to wish death upon President Trump, but woe be tied if anyone else tries to do the same.
What the Hell Happened to the White House?
People are wondering what happened to the White House. It seems like there's something different about it.
Teflon Don in Twitter Roid Rage Rampage Crashes Dow
The Teflon Don has gone on a major roid rage rampage across social media after being pumped with steroids at hospital.
Black Americans vs White Leftists
America is NOT divided by race, color, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. America is divided into wise people and fools. And fools divide themselves by race, color, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.
Best TV News Bloopers
A collection of the best TV news bloopers fails.
Kamala Harris: ‘The Debate Stage Is No Place For A Debate’
“No. This is not the time, nor the place for a debate,” snapped Harris. “This is a debate stage…not a platform to express ideas. There will be plenty of time to talk about my policies after the election.“
BREAKING!
Music Composed to the 1st Biden/Trump Debate
Trump Warns That Democrats Plan To ‘Steal The Election By Not Letting Him Cheat’
In a blistering attack on the Democrats at the Republican Party conference, US president and self-declared Braniac Donald Trump told his followers that there was a clear and present danger the Democrats were planning to steal the 2020 pr...
Trump And Covid-19 Engage In Testy Exchange Over Who Will Be In Power Longer
It was another tense day at the White House as President Trump and Covid-19 continued their terse exchange via Twitter over which one would be around longer. President Trump insisted the U.S. Coronavirus “will go away like things go away.”
President Urges All Americans To Wear Masks
Now that Donald Trump has been infected with the coronavirus, the president is asking Americans to do their part in saving lives by wearing masks. “We can save 100,000 lives in the next 100 days, according to the head of the CDC, if ever...
×
Fake Journal
Add Your News
0:00
/
0:00
×
